siren lullabies: January 2017

Something difficult for television journalists?

Living in the moment, 100 percent. And just to make sure I'm not totally crazy...I asked a lot of people in this business. Same goes for them, too.

A quick breakdown of how the industry works: There are 210 media markets in the United States (http://www.tvnewscheck.com/tv-station-directory/dma) and I'd venture to say majority of us reporters are working to make it to the top. Market #215 is a small town in Montana nobody’s ever heard of, Market #1 is New York City. Something in the neighborhood of a Top 20 market is what many of us have aspirations to make it to, career-wise.

I began my TV career in Market #166, in Billings, Montana. I spent about six months there and decided it was time to keep trucking. From the experience I gained in that quick six-month timespan, I was able to jump to Market #79, or Huntsville, Alabama. Closer to friends and family, a better salary, and more news to work with; as it’s a much larger city in #79 than #166. I miss my friends from Montana terribly, as well as the beautiful scenery. But overall, an undeniably-smart career move.

So, what’s next?

After Huntsville, some colleagues and I occasionally day dream/discuss what it would be like to work at the legacy station in Atlanta (Market #10) where I interned and got my start a few years ago. Or what about Denver (Market #17)? Snow would be kind of fun. Or San Diego (Market #28)? Forget snow. There, it's a perfect 70 degrees year round!

What’s next?

It’s the question we’re always pondering.

It's the question I believe debilitates us.

Should I go ahead hang curtains up in my apartment bedroom, or am I going to be making another move by the time my lease is up? God, it’s so bright in my room every morning, but only six more months until that crossroads arrives. Maybe it’s best not to do curtains yet. I’ll wait until I really know if I’ll be here for a while.

Ok, more than curtains: How invested should I become in making real friendships? Not only am I more-than-likely leaving in a year or two, but most everybody I know here is leaving before or after that, too. Mid-sized markets like Huntsville are stepping stones for many, and nothing’s permanent in the news biz anyways. I remember when one of my favorite photographers left my station in Montana for another station in town. It was so sad to say goodbye, even though he was headed just down the street. Not long after, I said "see ya!" to the entire state, and moved to a different region of the country. Now I have wonderful friends in Huntsville who I've become close with, but I know many of them have contracts with looming expiration dates. The goodbyes are hard. Many of us are forever-moving across the country, chasing that dream of making it to a Top 10 or Top 20 market.

But at what point do you have to stop and wonder: Is this a way to live? Forever in passing; never planting roots?

No other industry is quite like this one.

I'm almost eight months into my contract here in Huntsville. Here, I’ve made some amazing friends — both in and out of the workplace. I fill in for friends’ kickball teams; am a 'big sister' for an incredible volunteer program; know the best greenways in town for morning runs; and no longer have to look at Google Maps to know how to get to a given restaurant. My wallet/data plan overages thank me.

Huntsville is known for the aerospace industry and has a thriving startup scene. There are more PhD’s per capita here than anywhere else in the country. It’s a young, smart, progressive demographic. Why is this important? It's to say I really do love it here. I could see myself living here forever. But do I have the ability to do everything I want to here career-wise that I could if I were at a station in Philadelphia or Dallas or Boston? Probably not. (And before you fear that I've lost all sense/am putting my career on the line by writing such blunt statements, it's important to note that this is no secret in this business. Managers and supervisors are well aware of how the moving around goes. It's just TV news.)

The always-looming question: Where will I be in two years?

Maybe I’ll re-sign and stay in Huntsville. Some people fall in love, whether it be with a person or the city itself, and stay. They make it their home, perhaps because a part of them is tired of the perpetual moving around and shifting their lives and starting over. Maybe I’ll be in a city thousands of miles from here, pondering the same exact question again…where will I be two years from today? Maybe I’ll change careers and get out of the on-air reporting business. I don't want to by any means, but point is, I can’t predict the future. So for the time being? I’m learning important lessons that the TV news industry teaches. Not only about journalism, but about life.

I’m learning to be fully-present where I am. Right here, right now, today. I’m learning that happiness is not a destination. It’s not something I can achieve when I make it to a top media market with bigger salary and a new car. Happiness is a decision you make every single day when you wake up. It's a mood. It's a choice. But it's not a place.

I'm learning that I'm going to have great days and awful days, wins and losses, both personally and professionally...and that's okay. As long as I'm a better person today than I was yesterday, as long as I'm helping others and as long as I'm learning something every single day...what I'm doing with my life and my career is worthwhile and impactful.

And debatably most important, I’m learning to relinquish the need to control every second of my life. Who cares where home will be in two years? Anything -- everything -- can change in two years. I care about today. So I'm making memories I know I'll be able to look back on fondly. I'm creating as many meaningful relationships as I possibly can, despite my fear of goodbyes. And I'm beginning to truly believe life is an inexplicable balance of holding on and letting go.

I'm doing all this right here at home: In Huntsville, Alabama.

Oh, and I bought the curtains.

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